September 2005

The Associated Press TUESDAY, August 30, 2005; 11:00 PM PARIS, France —

Lance Armstrong’s record setting seventh Tour de France victory, along with
his entire Tour de France legacy, may be tarnished by what could turn out
to be one of the greatest sports scandals of all time. Armstrong is being
quizzed by French police after three banned substances were found in his
South of France hotel room while on vacation after winning the 2005 Tour de

The three substances found were toothpaste, deodorant, and soap, which have
been banned by French authorities for over 75 years. Armstrong’s girlfriend
and American rocker Sheryl Crowe is quoted as saying “We use them every day
in America, so we naturally thought they’d be okay throughout Europe.”

Along with these three banned substances, French authorities also
physically searched Armstrong himself and found several other interesting
items that they have never seen before, including a backbone and testicles.

So I get a call from Tazwell county today. It seems that my supervision is due to be up in October and they never got a copy of my release record from rehabilitation. So I make a few calls and get that on the way to being ironed out. No problem.

Then, just for fun, I thought I should check the exact date of my license suspension. Wanted to send in the reinstatement fee anyway. I couldn’t believe it. It’s September 23rd! That’s like 22 days! YEEEEEHAAAWWWWWWW! It took me all of five minutes to get that check in the mail. Yes folks, I’m just about mobil again!

Here’s my August cycling stats:
YTD Dist: 711.76 mi
MN Dist: 294.57 mi
YTD Time: 51:31:46
MN Time: 19:35:29
YTD # Rides: 46
MN # Rides: 15
YTD Dist: 15.47 mi
MN Dist: 19.64 mi
YTD Speed: 13.81 mi/hr
MN Speed: 15.04 mi/hr
YTD Time: 01:07:13
MN Time: 01:18:22

Just think, I wouldn’t have any of these miles had I not lost the license. Oh well, screw Illinois anyway!